It’s been over a year and I’ve failed to write down anything because I’ve always tried to keep my blog hopeful. Even when the subject is solemn or dire, I try to find the silver lining in the worse situation, some shape or form of hope. Something I’ve been unable to do for the longest time. Especially after Taiwan has fallen like all other countries. However the writer deep inside of me is protesting! No matter what I write down now, however desperate or depressed, at least that is how I genuinely feel. And even though it’s a hard pill to swallow, this too shall pass. Writing has always been a therapy that works for me, so here I am giving it a try again.

Right before Level 3 lock down (let me use this word loosely as I can’t be bother to find the correct translation) in Taipei, I was fortunate to have one last trip to the beach province of Taiwan. There were moments that I keep going back to, as it brings temporary bliss when the present feels like a long dark tunnel, endless and suffocating. All of those moments involve being in nature, stargazing, dipping my toes in the sand, feeling the sea breeze, submerging in the ocean, surrounded by trees…All of which are impossible to access when we had to stay at home. But here’s a reminder from my past, younger self: nature is a great example that this too shall pass. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always yearned for nature. The mountains the sea, the tall big trees that has lived hundreds of years, perfectly polished pebbles and fine sand that came from giant cliffs after thousands of years, they have endured.

Now, we all know that all things are made up of atoms so we are essentially made up of the same “stuff” as everything you see. So if they somehow survived, some in the same state, some in different forms, so will we. What are a few years in the grand scheme of the universe? A blip. That’s all it is. As nothing can be created or destroyed 😉 (unless you are in MCU but that’s another story), the concept of time is invalid. We are already eternal, we just don’t remember. (no, I’m not high when I write this : ) I’m serious) This may be a wild thought, but it is one that gives me inner peace.

Another thing that comforts me are my cats. From back when they were 1-2 months old, a total baby, the first time bringing Primo to Vet ER, and building them a lavish castle, to watching them get neutered (technically my brothers did, I couldn’t bear) and teaching them tricks (sit, hand, spin!) They have always been these two warm, furry ball of absolute happiness. I’m writing this to mark the 1st anniversary since they came into my life, and I am eternally grateful. Primo is a bundle of silliness, curiosity, gluttony, a small dose of anti-social and fierce but harmless bites. Luka is full of energy, mischief and love expressed in the form of constant purring and gentle meows. Primo smells like freshly baked cookies, but looks like a cinnamon roll. Luka on the other hand, his paws are like caramel biscuits dipped in coffee. They are the last sight before I sleep, and the first thing I see when I open my eyes to a world that is not better, but there they are, leaning against my legs, sleeping safe and sound. Whenever I feel powerless and borderline depressed, I bury my head in their bellies, take a good sniff, listen to their purrs and all is fine again. No matter how bad the day turn out, they reassure me that in a world where they exist, everything will be alright. I am not alone. I think that’s the whole point of going through tough times; to realize who and what really matters and how grateful I am for all that I have.

Here’s to many more years of poop shoveling in return for emotional support; and many nights of falling asleep together and waking me up in the morning with your soft meows.